The Bane of my GA Existence

Spring Fling-

Like many a college tradition, Spring Fling is really just another excuse for undergrads (and underagers) to drink excessively. Akon and Guster will perform. Sororities will have dunk tanks. Fraternities will have jousting. And as if Penn paid off Mother Nature, the weather will be perfectly 70 degrees with a light spring breeze.

The only problem is that as a GA, my job will be to take alcohol to already boozed kids who might not be used to hearing "no". And all of the festivities take place in the quad, where I live. Last year there were people peeing off balconies, vandalizing my carefully crafted door signs, just all around debauchery. Ugh.

So, in an effort to prepare, protect, warn, comfort my residents, I wrote a poem and I stuck to a bag full of snack food. A survival kit if you will, complete with whistles with public safety contact information and condoms.

It’s been a long semester and you deserve a chance to let loose!
But, mentors, please be careful not to rely on illegal booze!
Have food in your stomach and love in your heart,
I know you will survive fling, you’re independent spirits, and incredibly smart!